I’m healthy as bells-filled-balls. No joke. I know a lot of my cat-padres have a rough time with kidney issues and weighing like three times what they’re supposed to. What’s up with that guys? Get it together.
Anyway, one thing I am pretty strict with is my diet. I don’t do that fatty free-feed action. Two meals: breakfast and dinner. Like clockwork. And not just any old kibble or canned stuff, but real, homemade raw meat with the right vitamin fixin’s.
Does it take some effort to put together? Yep. But, trust me, it’s worth it. I’m basically the handsomest and healthiest cat in the world because I eat what my carnivorous ancestors did. I can honestly say I’ve never felt or looked better since I started eating this stuff. Just check out my before and after modeling shots.
On the low, I hear that my poop is so discreet it’s insane. That is, there ain’t no stank comin’ from this tank. It’s like little my parents are just digging for odor-free gold when they clean out my commode. That’s what a legit diet like this does. Make you handsome, healthy, and totally stank-free. Take note, ladies.
If you’re wondering about my full facility – litter box, litter, and all – peep my favorite things. I got you covered.
Anyway, my parents did their research and adapted my food from the raw diet recipe posted on feline-nutrition.org here. It may look crazy involved, but they have figured out a routine that makes things a lot easier. You should definitely read that page and this one to learn more about the benefit my kind of diet has, especially if you’re one of those sick or fluffy felines who need to hop on the fitness train.
Check out the video on how my grub is made here:
As for my personal recipe? Here it is.
PUPPY’S TIGER BLOOD DIET
The following makes enough food to last me roughly three weeks.
Appliances or tools you’ll need:
- A high-power blender like a Vitamix or Blendtec
- A LARGE plastic or glass bowl like this one
- A medium bowl (cereal-sized)
- A separate container or bowl for the four egg whites that you will not need
- A liquid measuring cup
- A whisk
- A large non-wooden (non-porous) spatula or spoon
- Six to eight 16-oz. Tupperware containers like these
- 5.5-6 lbs total of Chicken Thighs (with skin and bone). Remove 20-25% of bone and discard (so, if you are using 12 thighs, discard bones from three of the thighs and keep from remaining nine). Keep skin from a quarter to half of the total thighs. When I was bulking, I kept the skin from half. But then I started getting a little fluffy and losing my Greek cat physique. So now, I only use the skin from 3-4 thighs in this mix. ***CHECK OUT BONE SUBSTITUTIONS HERE***
- 7 oz. (about a half pound) Chicken Livers *preferably high-quality organic
- 14 oz. (a little less than a pound) Chicken Hearts
- 4 large egg yolks *from pastured, organic eggs
- 1.5 tsp lite salt
- Heaping 1/2 tsp. Taurine powder (get it here)
- Scant 1/8 tsp. Vitamin E powder (get it here)
- 1.5 tsp Lysine powder (get it here) *see note below
- 4 pills of Wild Salmon Oil (get it here)
- 2 pills of Vitamin B-Complex (get it here)
- 1 cup of filtered water
*I add Lysine because it helps control any eye goop (conjunctivitis) and inflammation from feline herpes. FYI, this is nothing like human herpes. It’s airborne and most cats have it. So rest assured, ladies. I’m good to go.
HOW TO PUT EVERYTHING TOGETHER (pictures below):
Okay, here’s a MAJOR short cut that my parents figured out. Most supermarkets (or butchers) will actually grind up all the meat and organs so you don’t have to. This is a huge time and mess saver. We go to Publix, prevalent supermarket chain in the Southeast US, and have a regular guy who knows the drill. My parents just make sure to go when he’s there. In case he’s not, there is a note card kept up on the meat department cork board. How awesome is that? Shout out to ma’boy at Publix in Winter Park Village, FL!
So, assuming you have a place to get this done: pick up the necessary chicken thighs, hearts, and livers. Bring them to the counter and let them know the amounts you need of each – alllll ground up together. Have a note card to hand over to help your butcher out. Get ready to still explain three to five times. Then explain that it’s for your pimp cat. Show them a picture of how handsome he is. Wait around for about 20-30 minutes (how long it takes for them to get the job done) and continue your shopping. They should hand you over a large meat tray of ground up mush and the bones you need separately. Thank them profusely, pay for your goods, and head home.
When you get home, get out your necessarily appliances and utensils.
Place the bones in your high-speed blender and your meat in the super large mixing bowl. ***CHECK OUT CHICKEN BONE SUBSTITUTIONS HERE***
In small bowl or container, crack your eggs to separate the whites. Put the yolks in your medium-sized bowl. Set aside the whites or use them to cook up a scramble. In the medium bowl with the egg yolks, add your taurine, vitamin E, salt, and lysine (if using). Open the vitamin B-complex capsules and empty powder into the bowl. Pierce the salmon oil capsules (carefully) and squeeze into the bowl. Add 1/2 cup of the water and whisk well until all incorporated.
Start up your blender to pulverize all the bones. Stop intermittently to scrape down the sides. Once they are in smaller bits, add the remaining half cup of water and a half cup of the ground meat. Keep blending on medium to high speed until there are no more bone fragments and everything is blended nearly smooth.
Put the blender/bone mix and the liquid bowl mix into the large bowl with the rest of the ground meat. Carefully begin to stir with your spoon or spatula, careful not to splash.
Mix well until the whole mixture is all incorporated (everything is in photos below).
Portion out into Tupperwares, keeping one in the fridge and the rest in the freezer.
When you only have one to two servings left in your fridge Tupperware, remember to bring one over from the freezer. It takes mine about a full day to defrost.
How to prepare and serve:
My parents give me a third to half cup of food each meal time, so morning and night. I eat off a porcelain plate because I’m classy like that. But they will put the clean plate in the microwave for about 20 seconds to heat it up, then put the food on it, then pour a splash (2-3 tablespoons) of boiled water onto the food and mix it up with a fork. This gets it nice and room temp without actually cooking it.
And that is how you eat like a king and get 14 pounds of pure tabby, tiger-like muscle.
BONUS: WORKOUT TIPS
Since I know the next question is about my workout routine, here’s some of my go-to stuff. It’s intermittent, but includes the following:
- Sprints up and down the stairs a couple of times a day. Namely when the litter-boys room is calling.
- Sporadic leaps onto a crazy high bed and/or the kitchen table to see what’s going on and/or the computer keyboard when I’m not getting enough attention. All graceful like puma.
- Feline Martial Arts (aka: attacking paper bags and paper in general)
- Solitary Hide and Seek (my favorite spots include behind the shower curtain, in small cardboard boxes, behind hanging clothes, and in open sock drawers. Don’t tell my agent, though. Seriously.)
- Chasing a crazy laser around that my agent whips out to hypnotize me.
- Mindful Purrditation. It’s not exactly a workout, but helps me harness my chi.
- Regularly licking and cleaning all regions of my lion-esque body. Ladies.
If you’re a human and looking for health, fitness, or weight-loss stuff that’s non-cat related, check out the books & guides on this website. It’s legit.
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