Here are a few of my favorite things that I personally use (as well as my parents proclaimed favorite things when it comes to “taking care” of me, even though I could clearly take care of myself. Reminder: I’m PUPPY.)
I’m high-end. I like high-end things. That’s my lifestyle. So be assured that all of these things have been 100% used and approved by me. Plus, each thing is basically THREE gifts in one: the actual item, the amazing cardboard box the item comes in, and then the crazy fun packaging in the box that the item comes in. It’s like a cat goldmine the size of the Grand Canyon.
Anyway, everything here is on Amazon. Apparently, that’s where my parents got them. They said to tell you that if you click on each photo, it will take you straight to the item page.
P.S. My agent said I shouldn’t be “promoting” anything without a paid sponsorship. You know what, lady? I’m REAL. I’m just doing this to share what makes me so happy, healthy, and AWESOME. Maybe it will help other cat-padres feel awesome, too. Money-hungry woman.
P.P.S. So, I just fired my agent again. Do you represent DiCaprio and need another star? Apply to represent me here.
THE LAP OF LUXURY (aka: furniture)
As you’ve probably gotten the hint through my photos, I live in this hammock. It’s pretty much my throne. I mean, the whole house is my throne, but you get the idea. Get it here or by clicking the pic.
I’m a self-proclaimed bush dweller. I love this tunnel for two reasons: one, it’s great for rehearsing my military boot camp sequences before auditions. And, two, it allows me to unsuspectingly attack my agents ankles. Get it here or by clicking the pic.
Below is my Bentley. I mean, Stroller. Whatever.. it’s ballin’ and you KNOW I pimp this ride HARD. It’s all kinds of fancy, foldable, with pockets and cup holders and solid tires. I’m working on setting some gold rims on mine, but in the meantime, do yourself a favor and grab one of these (by the way, it’s a lot less on Amazon than what my agent paid in some big ol’ commercial pet store… she nearly paid double the price you’ll see on Amazon! What a loon! Let’s be honest I’m worth it tho.)
This is the Rolls Royce of litter boxes. Flappy door, high ceilings, a carbon filter, tons of room for all the scratching I feel like doing. I could never go back to that 99 cent foot soak basin I used back in my hard knock days. Get it here or click on the pic below.
It’s no secret my poop don’t stink, mostly due to my pristine diet. But the house don’t stink either because of this stuff. It’s barely dusty, clumps my business nice, and makes cleaning up my junk a breeze (according to the parents). Get it here or click on the pic below.
Sometimes I’m in a rush and bring some litter rocks outside my commode with me. The gray litter mat above has notches to catch all the little pieces when I hop out so that my parents don’t need to spend so much time cleaning up (and spend more time tending to my very important needs). Get it here or click on the pic above.
Remember how I said my pimp toilet has carbon filters? Below are the replacements, if you even need them. My parents said they still haven’t had to replace mine for six months and just found out they’re washable. We still got the extras though because I’m a baller. Get them here or click the pic below.
Do you like digging for gold? How about the gold that comes out of a masculine lion-like body like this one? Yeah, so do my parents. They use this Nature’s Miracle scooper with a hanging (or stationary) base and say it gets the job done. Get it here or click the photo above.
WORKOUT EQUIPMENT (or as some people call them, “cat toys”)
I am obsessed with all of these things, but as a real man, I have no shame admitting these first two are my favorite cuddle-worthy stuffed animals. I don’t go outside (except in my pimp mobile stroller) so I can’t catch chirpy or squeaky things… but the first toy takes care of that primal craving. As for the Kong squirrel, I can rub that fuzzy creature all over my face for hours. Catnip is my jam. Get yours by clicking the pics below.
Now this next one… I don’t care what kind of creature you hour. This is proven to show you a good time for HOURS. My momager gifts these things like she’s Santa Claws whenever pet-sitting other house lions or even visiting any cats in general because it is SO awesome. It’s battery operated and automatic, meaning you can leave it on and it will start rolling around all crazy when stimulated (and automatically shut off when it hasn’t been touched for a minute or two). Plus, come on… feathers? Flashing light? Madness? Yes, please.
Scratch pads and strings, my other jam. If you’re around a Trader Joe’s, they have my absolute favorite scratch pad where I get out mega frustration on the daily. Second to that is this ball-track version that is a scratch pad and cardio workout in one. Sometimes my parents or agent whip out the stretchy felt string toy and, of course, I catch that thing every time. I’m pretty conditioned. I do like it though because it reminds me that I’m a winner. Check out each for yourself by clicking the pictures below.
As for the laser pointer thing below, it’s what my madwoman of an agent uses to distract me when I get too riled up for a role. She says it’s her “secret weapon” and has even gotten some for my parents. It provides hours upon hours of entertainment, which I’m all about. Torture for me, but entertainment for everyone else. I promise you all I will one day catch that damn beaming red light. Get in here or click the pic below.
THINGS THAT KEEP ME SEXY (and calm)
This Furminator anti-shedding comb feels like magic. Plus the amount of hair that comes off of me is honestly mind-boggling, seeing as I am NOT balding (how dare you). Sometimes I’m so amazed by how effective it is that I try to eat the mounds of hair my parents bundle on the side. Amazed.. narcissistic.. same difference. Get it here or by clicking the pic below.
Okay, a lot of people have asked. So here it is: my infamous BUSINESS CAT TIE. Mine may be a custom-made Roberto Cavalli piece, but you can get the exact replica for less than the cost of a large coffee. Plus there are tons of other colors to choose from. Get yours here or click the pic below.
So I just found out that my agent sneaks these anti-anxiety drops in my napping mouth before auditions to keep me super chill as I get chauffeured around. Sneaky gypsy. My parents also use them on me before taking me for my annual check-up and my vet always goes on and on about how loving (and handsome) I am. Naturally. Anyway, get it here or click the pic below.
SUPPLEMENTS & THINGS NEEDED FOR MY TIGER-PHYSIQUE DIET
This is the Taurine, Vitamin E, Wild Alaskan Salmon Oil, and Vitamin B-Complex that my parents use to make the food that keeps me the healthiest cat in the world. Other ingredients, like the lite salt, eggs, and chicken pieces, can easily be found at your local stores. Click on each pic below to get them on Amazon.
You need a mega mixing bowl for this ‘ish. This 5-quart one does the job. Get it here or click the pic below.
For the bones, you’ll need a legit high-power blender. My parents use a Vitamix, but Blendtec is another type of power blender that works. They use it for all kinds of other things and had it well before I came along, but I pretend it’s solely used to grind up the bones for my food. Because I’m important. Get it here or click the pic below.
tags: funny cat shirts, cat t-shirts, gym clothes, funny t-shirts, cat lovers shirt, puppy the cat, puppycatshow shirts, cat meme, funny gift, romance cat shirt, marine cat shirt, scuba cat, galaxy cat, cat nutrition, feline nutrition, cat diet, what to feed my cat, best diet for cats, best food for cats, raw meat for cats, bob marley cat, wrestler cat, wrestler cat shirt, gym shirts for guys, gym shirts for girls, comfy cat shirts, gifts for cat people, house lion apparel, house lion shirts, tee shirts, t-shirts, funny cat gifts, purrfect romance shirt, semper feline shirt, serious scuba cat, the galaxy cat experience, rasta cat, whisker warrior, wrestler t-shirt, funny nostalgic t-shirt, unique designs, ultimate warrior, USMC shirt, marley cat, mens cat shirts, cat shirts for kids, gifts for cat lovers, cat shirt, cat shirts, cat gifts, cat humor, cat t shirts, cat lover, cats, cat t shirt, cat lady, cat lover gifts, crazy cat lady, funny cat shirt, cat quotes, gifts for cat owners, cat, cat drawing, cat joke, cat lovers, gifts for cat people, i love cats, cat collector, cat fan, cat friend, cat lady gifts, crazy cat lady shirt, funny t shirt, awkward humor, awkward t shirt, cat gift, cat lady shirt, cat lover shirts, cat mom, cat pun, cat puns, cat workout, cute cat shirt, cute coffee mug, fitness humor, fitness shirt, funny, funny cat quotes, funny cats, funny shirt, gato, gifts for a cat lover, gym humor, gym shirt, im a cat, jerk cat, kittens, nerd, pet shirts, pets, sassy cat, workout humor, workout shirt, adulthood quotes, adulting, adulting shirt, animals